"Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money." -- Unknown
“Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.” -- My daughter
"Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn't belong." -- Joseph P. Dooley
"If any American did privately what Congress does publicly -- take what belongs to one to give to another -- he'd be condemned as an ordinary thief." -- Walter Williams
“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” -- Oscar Wilde
“A man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits.” -- Woodrow Wilson
"Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set." -- Denny Brake
“If at first you don't succeed; you are running about average.” -- M. H. Alderson
“Some days you're the pigeon; some days you're the statue.” -- Roger Anderson
"Do you know the three times that most people are in church? When they are hatched, matched and dispatched." -- Lowell B. Yoder
"The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they were never offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments." -- Mad Magazine
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