"If you want to live a long time, find yourself a nice chronic illness and take good care of it." -- Unknown
Embalmer: the last person you want to meet.
"The most recent statistics reveal that apart from Enoch and Elijah, the death rate among human beings is 100 percent." -- J. Carl Laney
"It is appointed unto men once to die." -- author of letter to the Hebrew Christians
"For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out." -- Paul, an apostle
"There are no pockets in shrouds, and no trailers pulled by hearses." -- Traditional idiom