Thursday, January 01, 2015

Holiday and fun definitions

Christmas: A day of the year when people use money they don't have to buy for people they don't like gifts that they don't need.

New Year's Day: The time to plan your annual good intentions. 

Week after New Year's: The time when you begin paving the road to hell.

Diplomacy: The ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they actually look forward to the trip.

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Embalmer: The last person you want to meet.

Historian: An unsuccessful novelist. (H. L. Mencken)

History: Gossip well told. (Elbert Hubbard)

Savers: Those who have all the funds.

Suburbia: Where they cut down the trees and name streets after them.

Synonym: A word used in place of one you can't spell.

No comments: