Sam walked into his boss’s office. “Sir,” he said, “I’ll be straight with you. I know the economy isn’t great, but I have three companies after me. I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”
They haggled a few minutes, but the boss finally agreed to a 5% raise. Sam thanked him and got up to leave.
“By the way”, asked the boss, “I’m curious; which three companies are after you?”
“The electric company, gas company, and phone company!” Sam replied and hurried out.
As a couple were eating snacks on their back deck, a panda strolled up and gobbled down some peanuts. Then he pulled out a gun, fired it into the air, and headed off.
“Hey, you!” shouted the man after him.
The panda yelled back, “I’m a panda. Google me!”
He did, and sure enough, he found the panda is: “A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”