Sunday, February 05, 2017

For Immediate Release

Breaking News
By Will Tell, Associated Express writer
February 12, 2045

BEIJING, EURASIAN COMMONWEALTH - This just in. The United States of America has reportedly fallen without a shot. While Americans were worshiping the god of Ball at the week long Suprabolus Festival in Houston, two construction workers from Los Angeles overthrew the U.S. government. Homeland Security was apparently oblivious to any problems, as the military, National Guard, peace officers, and the government itself totally gave themselves up to the idolatry. Speaking on conditions of anonymity, Mrs. President Bush VII said Secret Service was able to extract her only minutes before the fall. Now exiled in Beijing, she is working with the Eurasian Commonwealth to adopt the Suprabolus Festival, overthrow the construction workers, and annex the United States into the Commonwealth.

Asked for comment, one of the construction workers stated, "Like, wow, we did it, man."

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