In the beginning there was nothing. Though it's kind of hard to say there was a beginning, since there was nothing. Or to speak as if nothing were something, since it was nothing. After laying around some 20 billion years (though it is hard to tell how long since there were no years -- just nothing and nothing else) nothing decided it wanted to be something. Not sure why nothing wanted to be something or thought it could be something, since it had always been nothing. Nonetheless, nothing struggled 40 billion years and turned itself into a little something. At least it thought it was something. After 30 billion years, something that used to be nothing got tired of being something all alone. Not sure why something knew it was alone, since there had never been nothing but something that used to be nothing. Something that used to be nothing worked and worked and worked for 60 billion years and divided into two somethings -- one something that used to be nothing and one something that used to be something that used to be nothing. Well, some things went well for 50 billion years, until the two somethings decided they wanted something else. So they got together and made something. Now there was something that came from some things that used to be nothing, something that came from nothing, and something that used to be nothing.
How everything else got here, I don't know.