"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened." -- Mark Twain
"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not all ships are for." -- copied
"In order to know a community, one must observe the style of its funerals and know what manner of men they bury with most ceremony." -- Mark Twain
"You may talk about a man all you please, but when you do, please do it on your knees." -- copied
"The best swordsman in the world doesn't need to fear the second best swordsman in the world; no, the person for him to be afraid of is some ignorant antagonist who has never had a sword in his hand before; he doesn't do the thing he ought to do, and so the expert isn't prepared for him." -- Mark Twain
"The worst thief of all is the one who will rob you of truth." -- copied
"Journalism is the one solitary respectable profession which honors theft (when committed in the pecuniary interest of a journal,) & admires the thief...However, these same journals combat despicable crimes quite valiantly--when committed in other quarters." -- Mark Twain
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." -- Jim Elliot
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