"Breaking News"

The Supreme Court has handed down a 5-4 decision in the Hobby Lobby/Conestoga Wood Products cases. Read breaking news about it here:

* Justices: Can't Make Employers Cover Contraception -- "The court stressed that its ruling applies only to corporations that are under the control of just a few people in which there is no essential difference between the business and its owners."

Borrowed sermons and borrowed axes

“I wonder what it must be to go up into the pulpit, and read somebody else’s sermon to the congregation. We read in the Bible of one thing that was borrowed, and the head of that came off; and I am afraid that the same thing often happens with borrowed sermons – the heads come off.” -- Charles Haddon Spurgeon

When Adam was created

When Adam was created, he dwelt in Eden's shade,

As Moses has related, before a bride was made,

Ten thousand time ten thousand of creatures swarmed around,

Before a bride was forméd, or any mate was found.

He had no consolation, but seemed as one alone,

Till, to his admiration, he found he'd lost a bone,

This woman was not taken from Adam's head, we know;

And she must not rule over him, 'tis evidently so.

This woman was not taken from Adam's feet, we see;

And she must not be abused, the meaning seems to be.

This woman she was taken from under Adam's arm;

And she must be protected from injury and harm.

This woman she was taken from near to Adam's heart,

By which we are directed that they should never part.

To you, most loving bridegroom, to you most loving bride,

Be sure you live a Christian and for your house provide.

Avoiding all discontent, don't sow the seed of strife,

As is the solemn duty of every man and wife.

Author unknown (to me at least); Used with the tune EDMONDS by Elder Edmund Dumas in The Sacred Harp.

Obituary of Mary Etta Sasnett Pruitt

I searched some newspapers for the possibility of finding the death and burial location of Elder William Moses Pruitt. I haven't found it yet, but I did find an obituary of his wife, Mary Etta Sasnett Pruitt. I am transcribing it here.

Obituary.
  Died, at the home in Smith county, Texas, on Jan. 26, 1899, Sister Mary E. Pruitt, wife of Elder Wm. M. Pruit. Sister Pruitt was born in Talbot county, Ga. Professed faith in Christ and united with the church in early life; was married to W. M. Pruitt July 31, 1850. Eleven children were born unto them, nine of whom are living, M. B. Pruitt being clerk of Rusk county, which office he has filled with satisfaction to the people for nine years. She came to Rusk county, Texas, in 1871 and moved to Smith county in 1896; she leaves a husband, five sons and four daughters. Sister Pruitt was a noble woman, of strong christian character; devoted to the church, zealous in good works and beloved by all who knew her; a devoted wife and loving mother. She died as she had lived, strong in the faith, and fell asleep in Jesus, and was enabled to mark the wonderful change with her last words, "What a change." We would say to the sorrowing ones, weep not; thy wife, thy mother, is not dead but sleepeth. For beyond the misty river of death, in the sweet paradise of God, "where the wicked cease troubling and the weary are at rest," she awaits thy coming and the glorious resurrection of the body. Yes the evening shadows gathered and the long days work was done; and she has reached the sweet rest beyond the setting sun. Let us look by faith and press on to that sweet rest where there is no anguish or parting.                              W. H. H. H.
Minden, Texas

This was found in The Henderson Times (Henderson, Tex.), Vol. 40, No. 10, Ed. 1 Thursday, March 9, 1899, page 2. Mary E. Pruitt is buried in the Old City Cemetery in Henderson. W.H.H.H. is William Henry Harrison Hays, a Baptist preacher in Rusk County. If anyone knows where W. M. Pruitt is buried, I would like to know.

Links, Thinks, News and Views

The posting of links does not constitute an endorsement of the sites linked, and not necessarily even agreement with the specific posts linked.

* 15 Things Successful People Do on Monday Morning -- "Monday mornings are the most critical time of the workweek, as they set the stage for the day and week ahead."
* Girl asked to leave restaurant because scars were scaring customers, grandmother says -- "We have to ask you to leave because her face is disrupting our customers."
* Here Are The Most Liberal And Most Conservative Towns In Each State -- "It analyzes users' political views based on seven identifiers, and asking them whether they apply or not..."
* Historians Claim to Have Tracked Down Remains of Vlad the Impaler, ‘Dracula’ -- "Further research is needed to confirm the identity of the tomb’s occupant, but if it is indeed Vlad the Impaler, it will no doubt go down as one of the most significant historical discoveries of this year."
* Missouri Twins Born 39 Days Apart -- "...Carl and David Cowan have finally been cleared to go home after four months in the hospital."
* Scalia’s religion remarks and the First Amendment -- "It is at best a half-truth to say that the First Amendment favors religion."
* Southern Baptist Convention Resolution On Transgender Identity -- "...God’s good design that gender identity is determined by biological sex and not by one’s self-perception..."
* Texas translation: Weird, Wild Stuff to Be Found in Austin -- "For years, Austin, Texas, has been the Canterbury Cathedral of music nerds — a site of pilgrimage and worship...But what of us plain old nerdy nerds?"
* The Great Calvinist Reawakening -- "...the new Calvinist revival—which amounts to a partial shift in theological emphasis and style—is a far cry from the Calvinist revival that burned through the Northeast a few centuries ago during the Great Awakening."
* U.S. Patent Office: ‘Redskins’ trademarks must be canceled -- "Daniel Snyder may be the last person in the world to realize this, but it’s just a matter of time until he is forced to do the right thing and change the name."
* Why Is Breastfeeding in Public Still so Taboo? -- "Anyone averse to breastfeeding in public would have been wise to steer clear of West 26th Street in New York City Monday morning."

Views on Hobby Lobby
* Stop calling Hobby Lobby a Christian business -- "But a closer look at Hobby Lobby's actual business practices reveals this claim to be as hollow as a flute."
* On Christian Businesses: A Friendly Rebuttal to Jonathan Merritt -- "The idea of following Jesus certainly involves more than just the way that you spend an hour of your time on Sunday mornings."
* Russell Moore weighs in on Hobby Lobby’s China dealings -- "Whether one thinks one ought to do business with companies in China, this is obviously a very different question from whether the government ought to force employers to pay for drugs that cause abortions."

News on the Washington Redskin name
* U.S. Patent Office: ‘Redskins’ trademarks must be canceled -- "Daniel Snyder may be the last person in the world to realize this, but it’s just a matter of time until he is forced to do the right thing and change the name." Says Harry Reid. Reid perhaps unwittingly reveals the mentality of so much of the left -- they're going to force you to do the right thing.

Missing Shirley

Seven years ago Shirley Hunt went missing. We have had no resolution in all that time as to what might have happened.

Hobby Lobby, Gene Robinson and the Golden Rule

Last Friday, a series of links I posted included a Daily Beast article by V. Gene Robinson about the Hobby Lobby case before the Supreme Court. In it he argues that A Victory for ‘Religious Freedom’ is a Loss for Religion.

In the article, Robinson tries to claim the "moral high ground" writing that while he doesn't "agree with religious condemnation of homosexuality, I would die in the ditch for protecting churches, synagogues, mosques and other truly religious entities from having to ordain or marry LGBT people, based on their religion." The statement rings hollow and the high ground collapses knowing that Robinson was the first priest in an openly bisexual relationship to be consecrated a bishop in the Episcopal Church, a church that historically had not allowed such consecrations. Further, his consecration caused deep division in that church. Rather than "die in the ditch" he pushed his lifestyle upon many congregations and congregants who could not accept it.

The essence of the Hobby Lobby case is whether a company can opt out of the Obamacare requirement of providing contraceptives to their employees (some of which are considered abortifacient) based on the religious convictions of the owners. Robinson claims this is discrimination that "flies in the face of what every world religion claims in their own version of the Golden Rule: 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'"

The "Golden Rule" (in Christianity) is based on Matthew 7:12: "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." This is a summary of loving your neighbor and doing good to all men. But it is not a binding that forces men to violate their consciences, as Robinson would have it. Robinson has a very different concept of the "Golden Rule" than do I. I don't use the Golden Rule to force people to do what they wouldn't do, to pay for what they wouldn't pay for, take pictures of what offends them, or accept my version of morality. In its context following the goodness of God, it reminds us to imitate the goodness of God. This wrests from the Golden Rule the misuse of it, applying our desire for things that are not good to others. Ellicot points out there is an "implied limitation," writing: "The rule is only safe when our own will has been first purified, so that we wish only from others that which is really good."

Robinson notes that "...the devoutly religious owners of the Hobby Lobby chain of craft stores do not want to fund the contraception coverage offered in the Affordable Care Act because they consider certain types of birth control to be abortificients." He goes on to say that "This is in the face of the medical community’s clear determination that this is not the case." But here we descend into the arena of words and semantics rather than life and death. The "medical community" may have determined that contraceptives are not abortifacients based on their definition of abortion and pregnancy, and not solely the actions of the drug. According to many, a woman is not pregnant until the fertilized egg is implanted in the uterus, and an abortion then occurs only after implantation. Many Christians believe life begins at conception, and therefore a deliberate medical attempt of prevent implementation of a fertilized egg is a deliberate attempt to end that created life. I have read and also asked doctors, and it is a common effect of contraceptives to prevent the attachment of a fertilized egg to the uterus (if it does not initially prevent fertilization).  

Robinson discusses the effect that the Hobby Lobby case means that "the freedom to practice one’s religion without interference by the government extends beyond individuals to corporations." Further he considers that such "an assertion trivializes religion itself. Corporations don’t gather in religious community, don’t worship anything, don’t pray, and they don’t possess a soul in need of redemption." In pointing out that "Corporations don’t gather in religious community," surely Robinson has a low view of worship and the practice of our religion. Bart Barber points out, "The idea of following Jesus certainly involves more than just the way that you spend an hour of your time on Sunday mornings." If an individual Christian's religious freedom can be circumscribed to the brief periods we gather in religious community and not extend to how we conduct our daily lives, then we don't have much religious freedom at all. Robinson seems to think Christians who want to live out their faith are unnecessarily greedy. Rather we should be "grateful for such accommodations and freedoms" instead of "wanting more."

Robinson characterizes the desire of the Hobby Lobby owners as allowing them "to decide for their employees what is moral or immoral in their decision-making" and trumping "the rights of their employees and their families to exercise their right of access to contraceptive care." In effect, Hobby Lobby is encroaching on the freedom of their employees and pushing their morality on them. But to be clear, the owners of Hobby Lobby are not making moral decisions for their employees. Rather they believe that they should not have to pay for the moral or immoral decisions of their employees.

Finally, Robinson employs a slippery slope argument. He says that some religions (which he sets off in quotes) "have beliefs and practices that border on the bizarre and disturbing. If Hobby Lobby is accorded these exemptions, there will be no end to the attempts to 'protect' these more radical beliefs and practices, all in the name of religious freedom." The simple fact is that there will never be any end to philosophies from both the right and the left attempting to have their day (and way) in court. The courts always can (and do) assert "this far shalt thou come, and no farther."

Without a doubt, many will leave the religion of their childhoods "because of such narrow and limiting attitudes." Some others will leave the religion of their childhoods because of what they see as broad and unbiblical attitudes. Neither action of leaving determines what the true observance of the Golden Rule is. We do not place an asterisk on the Golden Rule, or wish to be exempted from the command to love and treat others as we want to be treated. But there is a wide divergence of opinion between liberals such as Robinson and conservative libertarians such as myself as to how we want to be treated.

Keeping Time

A good article from the Macon Telegraph on Raymond Hamrick, beloved Sacred Harp stalwart and old-time watchmaker.

 * At 99, the old clockmaker looks back

Favorite Sacred Harp quotes

Over the course of this blog I have posted quotes by Sacred Harp singers and/or about Sacred Harp singing. Here are some of my favorites.

"My favorite Sacred Harp song is the one I'm singing right now."

“There are three things I like about Sacred Harp: I like the songs they sing; I like the way they sing them; and, most of all, I like the folks that sing them.” -- Curtis Owen

“The Sacred Harp is a song book odd in shape, with an odd name, and as some think, has odd sounding songs sung by odd people.” -- David Waldrop

“It has shaped notes -- helpful for those that need them, unobtrusive to those who don't.” -- David "still learning" (in Eastern USA)

"It's not a religion. It doesn't favor any particular denomination. But when you're singing, it's a religious experience." -- John Etheridge

"In a cultural sense, this is the last outpost of the Old South." -- Bill Giesenschlag

"Today I seldom hear this music, but when I do, I close my eyes and recall a time when, as far as I knew, the entire world was no bigger and no more complex than our backwoods county. Life was simple, defined by daily chores and lived in rhythm with the seasons." -- Bob Lively, Austin American-Statesman

"This kind of music here, it comes out of you. There aren't any guitars or musical instruments, it comes from within you." -- Sam Craig

"Get enough people singing weird harmonies at the top of their voices and you start feeling a little sorry for the devil." -- Joe Dempsey

"Sing it right slow so we can get the juice out of it." -- Terry Wootten

"When in doubt, sing loud." -- Robert Merrill, American operatic tenor (a quote confiscated by Sacred Harp singers!)

Interesting odd fact

"Men can be so hard to read—especially in the beginning, when you’re trying to suss out if they’re feeling you or not. Here’s one strange sign that may help you figure it out: Men tend to walk slower with you when they’re into you, according to a new study published in the journal PLOS ONE."

"...there’s unfortunately not a text message equivalent right now."

Links for today

The posting of links does not constitute an endorsement of the sites linked, and not necessarily even agreement with the specific posts linked.

* 9 Weird Food Cures that Actually Work -- "Way back when Hippocrates was telling his compatriots to 'Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food,' he wasn't just talking about laying off the ancient Greek equivalent of Twinkies."
* A Victory for ‘Religious Freedom’ is a Loss for Religion -- "As far as I know, no religion places an asterisk after its recitation of the Golden Rule, indicating those who can (and should) be exempted from the command to love and treat others as they would themselves want to be treated."
* Ancient pharaonic tomb unearthed in Egypt -- "Spanish archeologists have discovered a pharaonic tomb belonging to a leader from the 11th dynasty of Egypt..."
* Bush Bash: Elder Ex-president Marks 90th Birthday -- "Five years ago, Bush celebrated his birthday by jumping from an airplane."
* For First Time In History Islamic Prayers To Be Held At The Vatican -- "For the first time in history, Islamic prayers and readings from the Quran will be heard at the Vatican on Sunday, in a move by Pope Francis to usher in peace between Israelis and Palestinians."
* Human Tongue Has A Sixth Sense -- "Researchers have found that in addition to recognizing sweet, sour, salty, savory, and bitter tastes, our tongues can also pick up on carbohydrates..."
* Once Conjoined Texas Twins Now Co-Valedictorians -- "Doctors at Children’s Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston did everything to ensure a safe delivery of the hospital’s first case of conjoined twins."
* Powerhouse Fruits and Veggies -- "...foods that are “most strongly associated with reduced chronic disease risk.”"
* Rick Perry: Gays are a lot like alcoholics -- "Whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that."
* Satanic Temple: Gay Marriage is 'a Sacrament’ -- "The Satanic Temple...said one of the issues it feels strongly about is “gay rights” and explained that homosexual marriage is “a sacrament,” just like heterosexual marriage."
* State of Tipped Workers -- "In the United States there are nearly six million tipped workers, and over 60% of these work in the restaurant industry."
* Sugar is Killing Us. Here's Everything You Need to Know. -- "Sugar can act like poison in high doses—and the amount in our diets has gone beyond toxic."
* Teen kills student, self at Oregon high school -- "A teen gunman armed with a rifle shot and killed a student Tuesday and injured a teacher before he probably killed himself..."
* Two Men Use Girl As Human Shield — Until Her Father Guns Them Down -- "A St. Louis couple is likely thankful to have guns in their home after they were forced to use them to defend their daughter against two men Monday night."
* Two prominent Mormon activists threatened with excommunication -- "Church court outcomes can include probation, disfellowship, excommunication, or exoneration."
* World's oldest man dies in New York City at age 111 -- "Imich was born in 1903 in a town in Poland that was then part of Russia. He and his wife fled after the Nazis invaded in 1939. They eventually moved to the United States in 1951..."

A fine example

of government-run health care:

* VA says more than 57,000 patients are waiting for first visit

"...more than 57,000 new patients have waited at least 90 days for their first appointments and that about 13 percent of VA schedulers indicated they were told to falsify appointment-request dates to give the impression that wait times were shorter than they really were."

"Employees at 24 sites said they felt “threatened or coerced” to enter incorrect information..."

Sensationalist headline

Waffle House Denies Waitress $1,000 Tip -- A Waffle House spokesman explains, "When a guest makes a tip of this size, it is our procedure to refund the tip amount and ask the guest to make the tip in either cash or a check. We follow this procedure in the event the customer decides to dispute the credit card charge and ask for a refund for the tip amount at a later date."

Huffington Post does (at best) a poor job -- and at worst an extremely irresponsible one-- reporting on Waffle House denying one of their waitresses a $1,000 tip. The headline would make you think that Waffle House kept $1000 intended for the waitress. But they simply have a sound business policy and followed their policy. The waitress got the $1000 tip and won't have to worry about later returning it via a customer disputing a credit card charge. Don't anyone be mad at Waffle House. They have a good policy that protects the wait-staff, their business and even the customer.

Such irresponsible reporting makes one wonder whether the reporter or someone else at Huff Post owns stock in Huddle House!?!

A hymn for today

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection.

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.

Posted in the Sovereign Grace Forum

Do Christians make the least faithful spouses?

This morning I linked the Huff Post article, Christians Make The Least Faithful Spouses, According To A New Survey.

The survey was conducted by Ashley Madison. Ashley Madison is a dating website "for people already in relationships." According to Wikipedia, "Ashley Madison is an online dating service and social networking service marketed to people who are already in a relationship with the slogan 'Life is short. Have an affair'."  It further states that the service has over 21 million members in 30 countries.  Supposedly they "sought to discover the link between religion and infidelity by asking 105,000 of its members about their religious affiliation."

I fear that the article is far too accurate to be simply be cast off by Christians, but far too "messy" to yield up any quickly consumed conclusions.

First of all, many Christians are unfaithful to their spouses.

But, second, the very nature of the website makes the answers of those surveyed suspect. They are unfaithful and probably lying to their spouses, so whether we can get much accurate and faithful data from them is questionable.

Third, where were most of the people polled located? For example, are they in primarily "Christian" countries?

Finally, it does not take into account self-reporting and the "definition" of what a Christian really is. If the respondents are in primarily "Christian" there is a likelihood of nominal attachment to a religion. IOW, they say they are Christians because they aren't atheists or Muslims or Buddhists, their parents were Christians and so on. This survey may tell us a lot about all the sorts of people who claim the Christian name, but little about those who are actively trying to live out their faith. There are (at least in the United States & western world) lots of nominal Christians. On the other hand, there are not likely many "nominal" atheists.

Just something to think about.

Soldiers, Surveys and Southern Baptists

The posting of links does not constitute an endorsement of the sites linked, and not necessarily even agreement with the specific posts linked.

* Bowe Bergdahl’s Former Roommates Paint Different Picture of Controversial Soldier -- "Sherry Horton knows a different Bergdahl than the one the world has come to see in the chilling proof of life videos the Taliban released."
* CBO Quietly Drops Forecast That Obamacare Will Cut the Deficit -- "One of the Obama administration's major selling points in passing the Affordable Care Act in 2010 was a Congressional Budget Office forecast that the controversial legislation would reduce the deficit by more than $120 billion over the coming decade."
* Christians Make The Least Faithful Spouses, According To A New Survey -- "Having faith doesn't necessarily mean you're faithful... to your spouse."
* Last of original group of Navajo Code Talkers dies -- "The language he once was punished for speaking in school became Chester Nez's primary weapon in World War II."
* Parent: Why I can’t 'in good conscience' leave my kids in public school -- "The MCAT is approximately five hours and ten minutes to get into medical school. And the state of Florida thinks it’s okay to subject our small children to fourteen hours stressful and strenuous testing?...I cannot, in good conscience, allow them to be the guinea pigs for a curriculum that has not been proven and pawns in the high-stakes testing game."
* Poll: 42% of Americans Believe God Created Humans 10,000 Years Ago -- "...for Americans who attend church weekly, 69% think God created humans in their present form within the last 10,000 years, and for those who attend church “nearly weekly/monthly,” 47% believe that God created humans within the last 10,000 years."
* Relentless Incompetence: Americans Are Giving Up on Obama -- "When leadership fails, people stop following. It appears in the sixth year of the Barack Obama presidency, that moment has arrived."
* Southern Baptist pastor accepts his gay son, changes his church -- "In August of 2013, on a sunny day at the beach, I realized I no longer believed in the traditional teachings regarding homosexuality."
* Woman buried alive after worst first date ever -- "...El Houari was an undiagnosed diabetic and had been in a diabetic coma when she was placed in the makeshift grave."

I asked

I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brains to work.
I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for patience and God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.
I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities.
I asked for everything so I could enjoy life. 
He gave me life so I could enjoy everything.
I received nothing I wanted. I received everything I needed.

-- Author Unknown

Next linkin

The posting of links does not constitute an endorsement of the sites linked, and not necessarily even agreement with the specific posts linked.

* 3 weak password strategies—and one that works -- "Passwords are your first line of defense against online predators...To be strong, it should be long, complex and use symbols, letters, and numbers."
* 25 Words That Are Their Own Opposites -- " “Because of the agency’s oversight, the corporation’s behavior was sanctioned.” Does that mean...?"
* A drag queen was behind USPS Harvey Milk stamp -- "Honoring predator Harvey Milk on a U.S. postage stamp is disturbing to say the least. Harvey Milk was a very disreputable man and used his charm and power to prey on young boys with emotional problems and drug addiction."
* Atheists lose latest legal fight over ‘In God We Trust’ -- "Atheists lost their case against the “In God We Trust” motto on the nation’s currency Wednesday (May 28)."
* Beards, Beer and Baptists -- "A Charleston Southern University associate professor was fired on Friday after his likeness appeared on a beer can...Roof had his picture taken at the 2013 Beard and Moustache National Championships by photographer Greg Anderson. Holy City Brewing went on to use that picture on their Chucktown Follicle Brown Ale cans. Roof says Holy City Brewing never attempted to contact him."
* Bowe Bergdahl No Hero To Fellow Soldiers -- "Some veterans and soldiers are calling him a deserter."
* Five Reasons Why Most Southern Baptist Churches Baptize Almost No Millennials -- "...according to a recent report by a special task force of pastors, the baptism drought in America's largest evangelical denomination—which counts 15.7 million members and 5.8 million Sunday worshipers—is worst among millennials."
* Fundamentalists Protest Harvey Milk Stamp, Accuse LGBT Activist of Pedophilia -- "The stamp was unveiled on Wednesday at a White House ceremony a week after Harvey Milk Day."
* How Obama needlessly bungled the case of Bowe Bergdahl -- "Among other errors and deceptions, the administration played up the service of a soldier who has been accused of desertion."
* How to Find Out if Any of Your Ancestors Were Famous – or Infamous -- "...most people who set out to research their roots find the experience interesting, exciting, and hugely rewarding. Chances are, there are many remarkable characters—both heroes and villains—in your family line."
* Middle School Teacher Suspended For Showing Video About White Actors Wearing Blackface -- "History is history. We need to educate our kids to see how far we’ve come in America. How is that racism?"
* The Least Popular Books of the Bible -- "The 10 least-read books of the Bible on BibleGateway.com"
* Why Lighter-Hued Butterflies and Dragonflies Are Faring Better Than Their Darker Counterparts -- "The lighter-colored butterflies...fare better in the heat than their darker peers, whose coloring absorbs more sunlight. Lighter-colored insects can deflect light to avoid overheating."

Sandy Valley and a preacher eating peanuts

Deacon Drew Drewery had to put his elderly mother in the nursing home. Last week her pastor Nebbish Peacock paid her a visit. When he got there, the dear old Sister was sleeping. Reverend Peacock had driven all the way up to Hayden Bluff and didn't want to make a return trip again too soon. He decided she might not sleep too long, so he sat in a chair in her room to wait. While he was waiting he thumbed through some magazines that were on a table. He noticed some peanuts sitting in a bowl next to them. As he waited and read, he chomped on the peanuts.

When Sister Drewery finally woke up, she and the reverend had a fine visit. As he prepared to go, Nebbish realized that he'd absent-mindedly eaten all of this old Sister's peanuts. He apologized profusely, repeating nervously, "I'm so sorry, I've eaten all of your peanuts!"

"That's okay, reverend," Sister Drewery replied. "After I suck off the chocolate, I don't want them anymore. I can't chew the nuts anyway."