By Will Tell, Associated Express writer
February 12, 2045
BEIJING, EURASIAN COMMONWEALTH - This just in. The United States of America has reportedly fallen without a shot. While Americans were worshipping the god of Ball at the week long Suprabolus Festival, two construction workers from Los Angeles overthrew the U.S. government. Homeland Security was apparently oblivious to any problems, as the military, National Guard, peace officers, and the government itself totally gave themselves up to the idolatry. Speaking on conditions of anonymity, President Clinton said Secret Service was able to extract her only minutes before the fall. Chelsea is now exiled in Beijing, where she is working with the Eurasian Commonwealth to adopt the Suprabolus Festival, overthrow the construction workers, and annex the United States.
Asked for comment, one construction worker stated, "Like, wow, we did it, man."
(For Immediate Release)