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Friday, February 06, 2015

Don't Jump

I was walking across a bridge one day. I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and called out, "Stop! don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he asked. 
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" 
He asked, "Like what?" 
I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?"
"Religious," he replied. 
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" 
He said, "Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" 
He said, "Protestant." 
I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" 
He said, "Baptist!"
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" 
He said, "Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" 
I said, 'Me too! Are you Reformation of 1879, or Reformation of 1915?'
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" 
I shouted, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off. 

Attributed to Emo Phillips

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