Breaking News
By Will Tell, Associated Express writer
February 12, 2045
BEIJING, EURASIAN COMMONWEALTH - This just in. The United States of America has reportedly fallen without a shot. While Americans were worshiping the god of Ball at the week long Suprabolus Festival in Houston, two construction workers from Los Angeles overthrew the U.S. government. Homeland Security was apparently oblivious to any problems, as the military, National Guard, peace officers, and the government itself totally gave themselves up to the idolatry. Speaking on conditions of anonymity, Mrs. President Bush VII said Secret Service was able to extract her only minutes before the fall. Now exiled in Beijing, she is working with the Eurasian Commonwealth to adopt the Suprabolus Festival, overthrow the construction workers, and annex the United States into the Commonwealth.
Asked for comment, one of the construction workers stated, "Like, wow, we did it, man."
Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts
Sunday, February 05, 2017
Sunday, February 01, 2015
Are You Kelvin Cochran, and other links
The posting of links does not constitute an endorsement of the sites linked, and not necessarily even agreement with the specific posts linked.
* 5-Year-Old Girl Dies After Catching the Flu, Even After Getting Vaccine -- "He said his family has taken comfort in the fact that his wife knew CPR and did everything she could. And he knows he'll see his little girl again someday, he said."
* After 150 years, Confederate submarine's hull again revealed -- "What they find may finally solve the mystery of why the hand-cranked submarine sank during the Civil War."
* Are You Kelvin Cochran? -- "Chief Cochran’s struggle is my struggle! I am Kelvin Cochran."
* Evolution Deniers Believe in 'Smorgasbord' of Science -- "Scientists like to portray what they're doing as making fact claims about the natural world. I think that the public doesn't view that quite so cleanly. They see scientists as making moral or meaning claims about the world at the same time."
* Football Physics: Why Deflated Balls Are Easier to Catch -- "A slightly deflated football may also be easier to throw, as long as it isn't overly flat."
* "Last Funeral of the Civil War" to Put Hunley Crew to Rest -- "They died in an age of horse-drawn simplicity."
* NFL says Solder touchdown play was illegal -- "For Fleming to go from an eligible player to an ineligible player, by rule, he would have had to sit out one play (unless there was a timeout, a penalty, or it was the end of a quarter) before returning to the field."
* Son of ex-slave who fought in Union army dies at age 97 -- "...the son of an ex-slave and Civil War Union soldier, died on Sunday, Jan. 25, 2015, 179 years after his father was born."
* Stats Show the New England Patriots Became Nearly Fumble-Proof After 2006 Rule Change Proposed by Tom Brady -- "The statistical 'jump' the Patriots make in the 2006 offseason, from one fumble every 39 plays to one fumble every 76 plays is nothing short of remarkable. Their trendline over this period is not even close to that of the rest of the NFL."
* Texas lawmaker under fire for Facebook post on Muslim Capitol Day -- "The annual gathering of Texas Muslims began in 2003. Organizers told the Texas Tribune that this the first year there have been protests."
* To prevent sex trafficking from becoming Super Bowl scourge, FBI intensifies law enforcement efforts -- "On the Saturday before the Super Bowl, a 23-year-old on the northern edge of this sprawling city scans escort offers on the Internet...She is an agent in the Phoenix division of the FBI."
* 5-Year-Old Girl Dies After Catching the Flu, Even After Getting Vaccine -- "He said his family has taken comfort in the fact that his wife knew CPR and did everything she could. And he knows he'll see his little girl again someday, he said."
* After 150 years, Confederate submarine's hull again revealed -- "What they find may finally solve the mystery of why the hand-cranked submarine sank during the Civil War."
* Are You Kelvin Cochran? -- "Chief Cochran’s struggle is my struggle! I am Kelvin Cochran."
* Evolution Deniers Believe in 'Smorgasbord' of Science -- "Scientists like to portray what they're doing as making fact claims about the natural world. I think that the public doesn't view that quite so cleanly. They see scientists as making moral or meaning claims about the world at the same time."
* Football Physics: Why Deflated Balls Are Easier to Catch -- "A slightly deflated football may also be easier to throw, as long as it isn't overly flat."
* "Last Funeral of the Civil War" to Put Hunley Crew to Rest -- "They died in an age of horse-drawn simplicity."
* NFL says Solder touchdown play was illegal -- "For Fleming to go from an eligible player to an ineligible player, by rule, he would have had to sit out one play (unless there was a timeout, a penalty, or it was the end of a quarter) before returning to the field."
* Son of ex-slave who fought in Union army dies at age 97 -- "...the son of an ex-slave and Civil War Union soldier, died on Sunday, Jan. 25, 2015, 179 years after his father was born."
* Stats Show the New England Patriots Became Nearly Fumble-Proof After 2006 Rule Change Proposed by Tom Brady -- "The statistical 'jump' the Patriots make in the 2006 offseason, from one fumble every 39 plays to one fumble every 76 plays is nothing short of remarkable. Their trendline over this period is not even close to that of the rest of the NFL."
* Texas lawmaker under fire for Facebook post on Muslim Capitol Day -- "The annual gathering of Texas Muslims began in 2003. Organizers told the Texas Tribune that this the first year there have been protests."
* To prevent sex trafficking from becoming Super Bowl scourge, FBI intensifies law enforcement efforts -- "On the Saturday before the Super Bowl, a 23-year-old on the northern edge of this sprawling city scans escort offers on the Internet...She is an agent in the Phoenix division of the FBI."
Super Bowl facts and trivia
- 30-second Super Bowl ads for 2015 will cost $4.5 million. In contrast, an ad on the popular CBS "The Big Bang Theory" comedy averaged $344,827 in 2014.
- The 2014 Super Bowl is currently the most-watched television show of all U.S. history.
- Super Bowl Sunday is the second biggest feasting day of the year in the U.S., second only to Thanksgiving.
- Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest day for alcohol-related accidents in the U.S., after St. Patrick’s Day.
- Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest day for beer consumption, after July the 4th.
- The Super Bowl is the largest day of sex trafficking and prostitution in the United States.
- Four times as many people will watch the Super Bowl as watched the President's January 2015 State of the Union address.
- According to the American Gaming Association approximately $100 million is bet legally on the Super Bowl each year. They expect $3.8 billion in illegal bets on the 2015 Bowl.
- Some people want to make Super Bowl Sunday a national holiday. Maybe so; one source says 7 million employees will be late or not show up for work the Monday after the Super Bowl.
- 8 million pounds of popcorn are consumed on Super Bowl Sunday.
Believe at your own risk. All of these facts are touted somewhere in the media. I think most of them are based in fact -- some are straightforward, but others are disputed. Some might certainly be difficult to prove one way or the other.
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